(Safety announcement.)

HEIMLICH
Yoo-hoo! Hello, everybody! It’s me, Heimlich. I’m a cute little choo-choo train, and I vant you to be safe. So pretty please, to stay seated vit your hands, arms, vings, all your legs, und all your feet inside while I take you on my fun little ride. Und mamas und papas—please vatch your children!

(Spanish safety spiel.)

Mein schtomach is so empty! Hey, help me to go find something to eat. C’mon everybody, here ve go!

(Vehicles begin moving. Note: Heimlich’s comments change with each ride, so guests will hear a selection of the comments from each section in a random order.)

(Passing a carrot.)
Carrots are orange—just like candy corn!
But I must eat all my carrots before I get any candy corn. (Chomping sound.)
Ooh, I vish candy corn was a vegetable!
Mama says carrots are good for my eyes. But I don’t want to put carrots in my eyes!
I see a big carrot!
Do you like carrots? (Chomping sound.)
Mama says I have to eat all my vegetables if I want to have dessert—and I do vant to have dessert!

(Passing an apple.)
Hey, let’s go over and eat zat nice juicy apple! (Chomping sound.)
Oh, that is good!
I hope there’s not a vorm inside! (Chomping sounds.)
Mmm, tastes just like apple on a shtick—without the shtick, haha!
I have to eat lots of fruit if I vant to grow up to be a beautiful butterfly!
Mmm, this apple tastes just like apple strudel—only without the strudel. Hahahaha!

(Passing through a watermelon rind.)
Oh, do you smell vat I smell? That’s watermelon! Mmm. (Slurp.) Taste that. Oh, smell that delicious watermelon!
(Slurp.) I think I ate a watermelon seed! I hope I don’t grow a big watermelon in my tummy!
Oh my goodness, this is such a sveet and juicy watermelon!
Ooh, watermelon! Come with me into the watermelon and taste the beautiful melon.

(Passing a fork in the road.)
Haha, there’s a fork in the road! Which way to go?
There’s a fork in the road! Which way to go—brussels sprouts or yummy dessert?

(Passing through a box of animal crackers.)
Mmm, it smells so yummy in here. (Chewing sounds.)
Oh, mmm, and it tastes so yummy too!
I can hear all those tasty animal crackers calling me: “Come here, little Heimlich. We’re ready for you to eat us!”
Here I come, little animal crackers! You can’t run from Heimlich!
Animal crackers? I love animal crackers.
I hope this box is not as empty as mein schtomach!
Here I come, little animal crackers! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
My favorite part of animal crackers? All of it!

(Passing by a cupcake and hard candies.)
I’m so glad I kept room for dessert!
Ooh, there’s so many goodies!
Goody, goody! Mmm, there’s so many goodies!
Ooh, I just love treats und sveets. They are my favorite things to eat!
Oh, all this choo-chooing has made me full!
Ack, I’m so full I cannot move.
Mama always says to say “Excuse me.” (Belch.) Excuse me!
(Belch.) Excuse me! (Belch.) Ooh, excuse me! (Belch.) Oh… ‘scuse me.
Now I’m going back for seconds!
Mmm-mm! Treats und sweets are my favorite things to eat, ja!

(Passing by candy corn.)
Oh, my favorite—candy corn!
Ahahaha, candy corn!
Ooh, I must be in Heimlich heaven.
Oh, look at zat beautiful candy corn zere!
Oh! (Chomps.) Delicious. (Chomps.) Oh! (Chomps.)

 

(Vehicles return to unload area.)

Now I’m going to drop you off so I can go back for seconds. Goodbye, mein friends! Auf wiedersehen! Goodbye. Come back again und visit me. Remember to eat your fruits and vegetables! I miss you already!

(Guests exit.)

(When ride stops unexpectedly.)

Ooh, I’m so full, I cannot go one more shtep. Please, everybody to stay seated vile I shtop and take a little break to digest all this food. Ah, I’ll be back on my way in just a moment.

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